Blarney...

I cannot believe that I missed this part of my trip it was one of the best parts of my trip. We did this when we arrived in cork. I looked at it and thought get fucked I'm NOT going up there. Even Brett was freaked and thought twice. We snapped a few picks and in we went. There was such a line it took over an hour to get up there. It was narrow but enclosed. For those of you that don't know I have an acute fear of heights. I freak and I often dream that I'm falling to my death so this was major. I was in the stairwell and my heart was beating out of my chest. Oh god I don't want to do this, how high is it?, will I have to climb ladder type stairs and the list goes on and because it was such a drawn out process ( one or two steps every couple of minutes) my brain was in overdrive. At one point I looked out the little window and my body must have gone rigid as Brett said "you just looked didn't you" I couldn't turn back I was locked in. So up we kept going with a rope to hold onto. We hit the top outside and I saw there were no more steps the walls were high enough that I felt secure. Ah this isn't that bad! It was beautiful looking out towards the countryside. I did it I really did it!!!!
Now time to kiss the blarney stone. Yep I can do it. I watched as each person had their turn, that didn't look so hard. Brett encouraged me all the way. I handed him my bag and sunnies and scarf. Ok I'm doing it. As I got closer I saw each person lay down
( yep I can do that) Then he told them to hold the rails, ( got this in the bag) and then he dips them down into an open crevice between the rock which is 40 metres high. ( Um NO FRIGGING WAY IN HELL ) So Brett gave my things back and he ( being so Brave ) kissed away.

I am learning so much about myself on this trip. I can do things on my own. I can try new things even if I'm scared, the outcome isn't always that bad. I don't have to rely on any one. I can be more independent. I am an anxious self conscious person who is happy to make everyone else happy ALL the time. I am realizing I don't have to do that all the time. I can say no if I want to. I have a fire in my gut to live my life to the fullest. There is so much out there waiting for me to try.